I got engaged to my wonderful woman New Year's Day 2015: "Yay! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" Okay great, thanks for the cheers but the engagement isn't the important part: Stamos is. Over the summer of 2014 I was with my friend Nate at the rooftop bar of Whitlow's in Arlington, VA (product placement, you owe me huge Whitlow's!). Over the course of the evening the conversation went from something useless to John Stamos (naturally) and after a couple Budweiser Lights I bet Nate $20 that John Stamos would be in my wedding party.
Before I get ahead of myself let me point out that I am a complete nobody. I am not famous, I don't know anybody famous (unless you count RJ Masoudi, lead singer of the hit boy band 4More that toured Germany in the late 90's before fame and egos got in their way and led to a breakup nastier than that of the band O-Town, but I think only like 20 people count him), and I have no connection whatsoever to fame. I'm just a lowly boy that's excited to get married and more excited to hopefully have Stamos there standing beside me.
So there I am, Whitlow's Rooftop wagering huge bills with Nate that John Stamos will be in my wedding party. We laid out the terms: Basically if Stamos shows up I get $20, if he doesn't I owe $20, they're pretty simple terms. We shake on it and post-shake Nate hurls a curve ball right at my face and asks "How are you going to get John Stamos in your wedding party?" OH CRAP! I hadn't even thought of that! I was too busy thinking about the yacht I was going to buy with my winnings that I forgot I needed a plan.
The Plan
I woke up the following morning with a slight hangover and an amazing plan. Let me tell you, this plan was pure gold! There was no way this plan wasn't going to work. Stamos was basically already booking his flight. I then passed out and when I woke back up I completely forgot the plan. Rats. All I could remember was Buzzfeed had something to do with my plan but that was it. The brilliance was gone. I finally decided to write Buzzfeed a letter. I don't know Stamos' home address or any way to get in touch with him but I bet you the Buzzfeed folks do. Keep in mind, this was in the early summer of 2014, I was still 6-8 months away from actually proposing. I didn't have a ring yet, I had no plan as to when/where I was going to pop the question. The only thing I knew was that when I got hitched I wanted Stamos there. I spent roughly six hours typing up the following heartfelt plea to the Buzzfeed folks seeking their help:
Dearest Buzzfeed,
Greetings! My name is Brendan Hurley and I am in serious need of your help. I’m fixing to get engaged in the coming months, unless my girlfriend says “NO” but let’s be honest, why the hell would she? I’m 5’6, pale as hell, and have zero abs. DREAMBOAT! Anyway, that’s not important, here’s the important part: I was at a bar with a buddy of mine (we’ll call him Nate cause that’s his name) and, as usual, John Stamos came up in the conversation. Now there may or may not have been alcohol involved, regardless this exchanged occurred:
Me: John Stamos will be in my wedding party. I bet you twenty bucks
Nate: The John Stamos?
Me: Uncle Mother-F@ckin Jesse, lead singer of Jesse and the Rippers will be in my wedding party
Nate: $20 bucks it is
The next day I woke up slightly intoxicated and I was in that state where you’re only kinda awake yet still kinda passing out drunk and in that state I had a brilliant idea of how to achieve this. I then passed back out and have since forgotten what the brilliant idea was but I know it had something to do with you folks at BuzzFeed and it was ingenious and it was totally going to work. Alas, I must resort to writing you guys a letter instead of my brilliant plan (hell, a letter to you may have been the brilliant plan, I was seriously so hammered I can’t remember anything other than “BuzzFeed!”).
Now, you may be wondering “Why does this guy want John Stamos in his wedding party?” Answer: He’s John F@cking Stamos, what kind of question is that? You may also be wondering “What’s in it for Mr. Stamos? Is this guy going to pay him for this?” Answer: I will buy his plane ticket (coach of course, I’m not made of money) and I’ll even give him the whopping $20 after Nate tearfully hands it to me and admits that he is a loser for betting against me. Stamos can even bed any woman at the wedding he wants – except mine. I imagine Stamos would put me to shame in the sex department and I don’t really want her experiencing something so magical only to have to come back to me. Lastly you must be wondering “When is the wedding? Does this loser think Mr. Stamos has an open calendar and can just fly anywhere he wants whenever he wants?” Answer: 1) Yes I think John Stamos can fly wherever whenever he wants (see: “John F@cking Stamos” sentence above) and B) I know he’s probably a busy man and whilst I don’t yet have a date picked I just wanted to reach out to you guys so we could get the wheels in motion and win me twenty bucks.
I need your help BuzzFeed, in your infinite wisdom and generosity can you assist a lowly Virginia boy in getting the Greek God that is John Stamos in my wedding party so that I can wipe that stupid smirk off Nate’s dumb face? God bless you BuzzFeed, and God Bless America.
I didn't mail the letter right away; I decided to wait until I was getting ready to pop the question to the girlfriend. I purchased the ring in early December knowing I was going to ask her just after midnight on New Year's Day. Some say that's corny but those people can shove off! It was just after midnight on New Year's during our first year of dating when she said "I love you" for the first time and it caught me completely off guard. Now it was my turn to catch her off guard. Payback's a b!
December 23rd I printed the letter out and signed it and dropped in the mail addressed to "Whoever Knows the Greek God That is John Stamos c/o Buzzfeed." Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything. That's when I decided to take drastic measures. I signed up for this thing called Twitter because I was told it was something people used to try and communicate to other people. So I took a picture of the letter and tweeted Stamos and Buzzfeed:
Before I get ahead of myself let me point out that I am a complete nobody. I am not famous, I don't know anybody famous (unless you count RJ Masoudi, lead singer of the hit boy band 4More that toured Germany in the late 90's before fame and egos got in their way and led to a breakup nastier than that of the band O-Town, but I think only like 20 people count him), and I have no connection whatsoever to fame. I'm just a lowly boy that's excited to get married and more excited to hopefully have Stamos there standing beside me.
So there I am, Whitlow's Rooftop wagering huge bills with Nate that John Stamos will be in my wedding party. We laid out the terms: Basically if Stamos shows up I get $20, if he doesn't I owe $20, they're pretty simple terms. We shake on it and post-shake Nate hurls a curve ball right at my face and asks "How are you going to get John Stamos in your wedding party?" OH CRAP! I hadn't even thought of that! I was too busy thinking about the yacht I was going to buy with my winnings that I forgot I needed a plan.
The Plan
I woke up the following morning with a slight hangover and an amazing plan. Let me tell you, this plan was pure gold! There was no way this plan wasn't going to work. Stamos was basically already booking his flight. I then passed out and when I woke back up I completely forgot the plan. Rats. All I could remember was Buzzfeed had something to do with my plan but that was it. The brilliance was gone. I finally decided to write Buzzfeed a letter. I don't know Stamos' home address or any way to get in touch with him but I bet you the Buzzfeed folks do. Keep in mind, this was in the early summer of 2014, I was still 6-8 months away from actually proposing. I didn't have a ring yet, I had no plan as to when/where I was going to pop the question. The only thing I knew was that when I got hitched I wanted Stamos there. I spent roughly six hours typing up the following heartfelt plea to the Buzzfeed folks seeking their help:
Dearest Buzzfeed,
Greetings! My name is Brendan Hurley and I am in serious need of your help. I’m fixing to get engaged in the coming months, unless my girlfriend says “NO” but let’s be honest, why the hell would she? I’m 5’6, pale as hell, and have zero abs. DREAMBOAT! Anyway, that’s not important, here’s the important part: I was at a bar with a buddy of mine (we’ll call him Nate cause that’s his name) and, as usual, John Stamos came up in the conversation. Now there may or may not have been alcohol involved, regardless this exchanged occurred:
Me: John Stamos will be in my wedding party. I bet you twenty bucks
Nate: The John Stamos?
Me: Uncle Mother-F@ckin Jesse, lead singer of Jesse and the Rippers will be in my wedding party
Nate: $20 bucks it is
The next day I woke up slightly intoxicated and I was in that state where you’re only kinda awake yet still kinda passing out drunk and in that state I had a brilliant idea of how to achieve this. I then passed back out and have since forgotten what the brilliant idea was but I know it had something to do with you folks at BuzzFeed and it was ingenious and it was totally going to work. Alas, I must resort to writing you guys a letter instead of my brilliant plan (hell, a letter to you may have been the brilliant plan, I was seriously so hammered I can’t remember anything other than “BuzzFeed!”).
Now, you may be wondering “Why does this guy want John Stamos in his wedding party?” Answer: He’s John F@cking Stamos, what kind of question is that? You may also be wondering “What’s in it for Mr. Stamos? Is this guy going to pay him for this?” Answer: I will buy his plane ticket (coach of course, I’m not made of money) and I’ll even give him the whopping $20 after Nate tearfully hands it to me and admits that he is a loser for betting against me. Stamos can even bed any woman at the wedding he wants – except mine. I imagine Stamos would put me to shame in the sex department and I don’t really want her experiencing something so magical only to have to come back to me. Lastly you must be wondering “When is the wedding? Does this loser think Mr. Stamos has an open calendar and can just fly anywhere he wants whenever he wants?” Answer: 1) Yes I think John Stamos can fly wherever whenever he wants (see: “John F@cking Stamos” sentence above) and B) I know he’s probably a busy man and whilst I don’t yet have a date picked I just wanted to reach out to you guys so we could get the wheels in motion and win me twenty bucks.
I need your help BuzzFeed, in your infinite wisdom and generosity can you assist a lowly Virginia boy in getting the Greek God that is John Stamos in my wedding party so that I can wipe that stupid smirk off Nate’s dumb face? God bless you BuzzFeed, and God Bless America.
I didn't mail the letter right away; I decided to wait until I was getting ready to pop the question to the girlfriend. I purchased the ring in early December knowing I was going to ask her just after midnight on New Year's Day. Some say that's corny but those people can shove off! It was just after midnight on New Year's during our first year of dating when she said "I love you" for the first time and it caught me completely off guard. Now it was my turn to catch her off guard. Payback's a b!
December 23rd I printed the letter out and signed it and dropped in the mail addressed to "Whoever Knows the Greek God That is John Stamos c/o Buzzfeed." Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything. That's when I decided to take drastic measures. I signed up for this thing called Twitter because I was told it was something people used to try and communicate to other people. So I took a picture of the letter and tweeted Stamos and Buzzfeed:
Nothing. I got a couple retweets but didn't get anything from Stamos or Buzzfeed. Around this same time my lady had all her bridesmaids over and gave them each a wine bottle with their name on it a message asking them to be her bridesmaids. I thought it was a very nice gesture and thought to myself "You need a classy way to ask your guys to be your groomsmen." So I bought a can of Spaghetti-O's for each of my guys and printed their name and a message off the computer and taped it to the can. Naturally I made one for Stamos and took a picture of it and tweeted it out to him.
Nothing. Granted it's only been two days, I'm sure Stamos is just trying to figure out a way to reply without sounding too excited. So that's where we are. A letter and two tweets and zero response. I won't be deterred though, perhaps this blog will somehow catch his eye and he'll give me a call and the conversation will likely go something like this:
Stamos: Brendan! It's John
Me: John who?
Stamos: John Stamos
Me: (silent crying)
Here's hoping!
Stamos: Brendan! It's John
Me: John who?
Stamos: John Stamos
Me: (silent crying)
Here's hoping!